This has been rolling around in my brain for the last little while. Living in a small town people tend to assume things and watch you and spread rumors that they think are facts. Some are harmless, and extremely entertaining when they get back to you. Others are quite damaging and tragic. One false word can ruin someone's life, livelihood and peace.
I haven't seen this movie yet but I thought this was a powerful story and illustration of the damage of gossip. This is from Doubt with Meryl Streep. I believe its the Priest speaking.
A woman was gossiping with her friend about a man whom they hardly knew - I know none of you have ever done this. That night, she had a dream: a great hand appeared over her and pointed down on her. She was immediately seized with an overwhelming sense of guilt. The next day she went to confession. She got the old parish priest, Father O' Rourke, and she told him the whole thing. 'Is gossiping a sin?' she asked the old man. 'Was that God All Mighty's hand pointing down at me? Should I ask for your absolution? Father, have I done something wrong?' 'Yes,' Father O' Rourke answered her. 'Yes, you ignorant, badly-brought-up female. You have blamed false witness on your neighbor. You played fast and loose with his reputation, and you should be heartily ashamed.' So, the woman said she was sorry, and asked for forgiveness. 'Not so fast,' says O' Rourke. 'I want you to go home, take a pillow upon your roof, cut it open with a knife, and return here to me.' So, the woman went home: took a pillow off her bed, a knife from the drawer, went up the fire escape to her roof, and stabbed the pillow. Then she went back to the old parish priest as instructed. 'Did you cut the pillow with a knife?' he says. 'Yes, Father.' 'And what were the results?' 'Feathers,' she said. 'Feathers?' he repeated. 'Feathers; everywhere, Father.' 'Now I want you to go back and gather up every last feather that flew out onto the wind,' 'Well,' she said, 'it can't be done. I don't know where they went. The wind took them all over.' 'And that,' said Father O' Rourke, 'is gossip!'
I refuse to let rumors and gossip color my opinion of anyone. I want to know who that person is, not who someone else tells me that person is. I believe that many powerful friendships and relationships can be lost over simple misunderstandings.
I've also learned to watch what I say to certain people. If I don't want something getting around the town, there are certain people that I won't tell. These are the same people that if I have something that needs to be spread, as in, I am going to have to tell a lot of people, I tell them, because I know the right people will be informed.
There are some things that are just too precious to share. Things that are too sacred to become the fodder of slander. Those things I keep to myself.
