The act of 'not-being'

Its exhausting. Not being something. I'm so tired of it, not being a good mother, not being a good student, not being ... something. Not being heard. Not being good at anything I do. Just.. in a perpetual state of not being. And the not being is more exhausting than the alternative, because when you are yourself, its easy, and renewing.

I'm just so exhausted by this state of not being. I can feel the numbness spreading.