Sometimes....

Sometimes I am invisible

Sometimes I am not good enough

Sometimes I can't hold your attention

Sometimes I crave your touch

Sometime I feel like I don't deserve this

Sometimes I take what I can get

Sometimes I'm not loud enough

Sometimes I think I can scream

Sometimes I just bite my tongue

Sometimes it's just not important

Sometimes I just don't remember

Sometimes I just can't forget

Sometimes I'm scared

Sometimes I'm brave

Sometimes it doesn't matter

Sometimes it does

A week into it

We are a week in to the school year and things are going great! The kids are loving school, learning from their teachers, playing and making new friends. James is especially loving being able to be a big boy and go to school. Donovan is feeling slightly left out since his brothers get to go and he doesn't. I've been trying to include him in the things that I'm doing and he gets to go on ride alongs to work on computers when I'm at work. Today he helped me clean the kitchen by taking boxes out to the big trashcan outside. He will be starting the online preschool soon, I got a call saying he was accepted into the program so thats exciting. I think he'll love it.

I finished reading a online book, published independently. Found out it was available to order directly from the printing press. It was a good enough story that I shelled out the $20 for it. Its called Mortal Ghost. It was an amazing story, I haven't gotten that drawn into a story like that in awhile. The author is very talented and has another story that she has published on her website that I have yet to begin. I'm looking forward to curling up with my laptop and reading another good story by her.

Its amazing

It's amazing how a simple phrase can light up the world. In all its darkness, the capacity of human kindness can give hope that reaches the darkest corners. I feel my self, at times, blushing like a young girl inexperienced with the cynical world that we live in. Trying so hard to be strong enough for everyone. Holding on just a little longer for the sweetest thing to ever appear. My heart races, my breath catches, and I try to hold onto that moment for a little bit longer.

Once... and I'm starting to remember

There was a time not too long ago that I was actually pretty organized, although it didn't feel like it at the time. I had habits and routines and things that I did that made life pretty simple. A big thing I did was menu planning. I'd sit with my calendar, a pen and the week's grocery ad. I'd also have in the back of my mind a list of all the food I had in the house that needed used. And I would plot out what would be for dinner on which night. I would do this after filling in all activities into the calendar so I'd know on which days we needed a simple meal, and which days we could do a fancier meal. It all depended on timing. In this world of digital, I've started to go back to that, and again, I feel rusty, like I remember how to do this, but its been so long I don't know if I still can. But I know I can, just a little bit at a time. I'm using my google calender, that syncs with my Android. That way, I can see it no matter where I am. Just pull out the phone and there it is.


For awhile, I also made my bed as soon as I got up, or sometimes during the day. I'd also do a load of laundry every day, and while I was sorting the clothes, I would make another pile of clothes that were just too stained or torn to be worth washing. As soon as I had started a load of laundry, I would bag up the pile of clothes and put it by the door to take with me to the local thrift store. This system kept my house fairly livable.

But you know, I still hate cleaning!

Its ALIVE!!!

So, I've been dabbling with the technical arts under the wonderful apprenticeship of the greatest guy in the world. We've had some fun figuring out how to make things work and how to fix whats wrong with others. Sometimes if you have something that seems dead, its worth it to see if there are any solutions to the death. Resurrecting electronics has become quite fun. The other night we had a printer that just was not going to work, when the power button was pushed it would bring up one lonely yellow light instead of the 2-3 green ones that meant it was ready for printing. This required an unconventional method of restoring life to the poor printer. The board in the printer had a cold solder break. Solution: Bake board at 400 degrees for 5 mins, let cool, replace, test: ITS ALIVE!


Another printer that seemed to be at death's door was giving an ink system failure error. Hmm, ok.... that means its done for right? Well, lets see what google says... GOOGLE is the best! Hmm, this seems to be a common error on this printer, so there should be a solution, ok, not as unconventional as baking, but still an interesting solution, unplug the printer, press two buttons while simultaneously plugging the printer back in. This resets the printer and its good to go.

So, my advice to you, if you have a piece of electronics that seems like its dead and in no way going to be saved ever, google it, type in the search bar the model you have and the problem you are having, its a quick way to find out if there is a solution or if you are out of luck.

Good luck with all endeavors!

Hmm.... something is needed... MORE PHOTOS

I think I should be adding more photos to this blog.

Well, that was fun... I got started on this post and then was taken with the evil flu. I spent the last couple of days a hostage of my bathroom. I haven't been that sick in a long time.



So anyway the reason for more photos is because I found a photobook program that will take your blog and make a book of it. Its www.blurb.com I thought it was a neat idea.

Its been awhile, and its sure good to see you

Its been awhile since I've written, and my writing gears feel like they've rusted. I've had so many thoughts and experiences and things that I should have been writing about over the last year. It snowed so much this last winter that I thought we'd never see summer, but one morning, the snow was gone and the grass was green and the birds were chirping and spring had left. Seems spring happened while we were waiting for the snow to melt.

I've moved into a house, that I'm trying to buy. I've been renting it for almost a year now. There are things it needs, cosmetic touches and some major overhauls and remodeling.

I started a small garden. Right now its mostly radishes, winter squash, and cucumbers. The cucumbers were A's idea, he loves them. I'm hoping that the plants produce and we have the joy of eating some fresh homegrown vegetables this year.  The kids are so curious about how things are growing that I have to watch and make sure they don't pull the plants up to check the roots!

My kids have shot up like weeds, A starts 2nd grade and J starts K. and D, well, D, will be enrolling in http://www.utahupstart.org/index.html, an online based preschool program.  The other night my oldest stood next to me and I had to look twice, because he's gotten so tall. His head is now at just below my shoulder. J is also getting taller and he's extremely strong. D has finally started growing out of some of his allergies although some foods still cause him to break out and his skin to be extremely weak. I've found some creams and ointments that work extremely well. Dermarest and Dermazinc both work really well at clearing up the rash and cooling and relieving the itchies. 

For the most part life is pretty good. I still work at the bank, I have enough money to live on and to splurge once in a great while. I splurged today on Green Day rock band. I've been listening to their music for the past couple days and remembered how much I really enjoy their music.

I finally bought some books from the Eat This, Not That series. They are very interesting. I bought the restaurant survival guide, the 2010 book, and the kids book. I'm going to buy the supermarket survival guide next. My son and I sat and looked through the kids book and he seemed to enjoy knowing what healthy choices he could make when eating out or when faced with candies or treats.

I also recently watched the documentary Super size Me. The guy really put his body through the ringer. He started out as fairly healthy adult male, and decided he was going to eat nothing but McDonald's food for 30 days. His doctors got to a point they were all asking him to quit the binge because of the side effects it was having on his overall health. I haven't stepped foot in a McDonald's in over 5 years. I haven't officially eaten there in 10. This just made me glad that I don't eat there anymore and to rethink eating at any fast food restaurant. After doing some research though, Wendy's chili is a fairly healthy fast food option. Its low in calories and high in protein and its extremely tasty and filling.

Well, enough for now, can't overwork those writing gears too much, gotta ease back into this, I'll be back tomorrow with some pics of the last year's adventures. Much love to all my faithful readers.