I did it. After not being able to for over a year. A visit to the cemetary in the company of a couple of friends prompted me to just deal with it. I visited Brandon. It was harder and easier than I thought it would be. As I knelt at his headstone, I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I swallowed them back as I didn't want to explain the reason for my tears to the people I was with. I doubt I could even explain them to myself. Regrets, guilt, sorrow for all the moments missed, for all that could have been. His headstone is a beautiful and loving tribute to his young life. A picture of him in a tux adorns the front of the headstone. I apologized for missing his funeral and for not being strong enough to visit his grave before this moment. His death hit me hard. It still does. When the cemetary begins to be populated with your peers, its time to evaluate life and how you are living.
I miss him. And I didn't even know him. Just as a fellow classmate. Its our ten year reunion this year and as a class we are planning on paying tribute to him and another of our classmates that passed on.
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